deep, unspeakable ache

i will do my best to describe to you the ache that seems to be in the core of my bones. the deepest part of my heart. in the pit of my stomach.

i am not a mother. but, i think i may know what it is like to love a child with such deep love that it's unsettling. i cannot ignore the warm feelings that envelope my heart as his name simply flashes in my mind.

erold pierre is a 12 year-old boy i met years ago in messailler, haiti. his precious smile instantly captured my heart.

he is so kind. so thoughtful. caring. attentive and introverted. although we do not speak the same language, his meek personality shines through any language barrier.

erold shows his love for me many ways. jesus has been so kind to me to let my heart feel so deeply for a child that lives such a distance away. to be loved by a haitian child. we are an unlikely pair.

for example, if a hair is blown into my face, he so gently moves it aside. if too many kids are hanging on me in the heat of a haitian afternoon; he kindly removes their clinging hands... he then grabs my hand and leads me to shade. if my skirt is ruflled above my knee as i sit on the grass, he so intentionally places it correctly... laying it back to it's proper position.

i have learned about erold and his family over the years. god has blessed me with that gift.

erold survived the floods of tropical storm Fay and the violent shakes of the earthquake. i cannot describe to you my fear during those times. i was fearful for my boy's safety.

all i can do in my home miles and miles away is pray for him. i pray that there would not be a day erold did not experience jesus' love. i pray that the holy spirit sanctifies his little heart and that one day he becomes a faithful-jesus lovin' leader. whether it is in his home, church, business or entire country. i boldly come before the throne and ask the Ultimate Healer that He would equip erold to bring redemption to his country that is so needy for it. i pray for continued safety. for jesus to send a person who could provide stable love for erold & his siblings.

i can also remember him. i will never forget erold. he will be remembered and talked about in my family for many years. hopefully even after i pass.

i have courage to feel the ache within my heart because i rest in the hope that one day we WILL be in heaven together. jesus will come and redeem haiti & the broken family erold comes from. i am able to live in the tension of such pain because hope and joy is GUARANTEED to me. i long for the day for us to be in heaven together.

This is erold & i in the summer of 2007.

 this is erold & i in the summer of 2010.