a good listener.

"Listening to your heart can include reliving fearful and painful experiences and examining your strategies to silence your heart so you never have to feel that anguish again"

Sharon Hersh from the book, Brave Hearts 

Do you have a place where you are able to listen to your heart?  

Is there a safe place where you can retreat and sit, listen, speak, weep, wrestle with your inner self and have courage to feel?

We live in a fast-pace culture where spending time reflecting is not appreciated or valued. Courageous hearts sit and listen to the wounds that have marred our souls in order to allow for healing and restoration.

experiencing grace.

Grace is a word that I have grown up with.
Grace is an overused word. A misunderstood word. A word that may be fully inconceivable by mankind. Grace, in all of it’s meaning is a beautiful mystery that is so complex yet so simple.
Grace can be defined as receiving something that you do not deserve. God is a grace-filled God who daily, no momentarily, pours His grace onto His children.
The eyes of my soul have been opened a little wider today. I have seen grace actively being bestowed on me. My flesh is awakened, by bones are nourished.
We, as Americans, and maybe mankind as a whole feel like “we get what we deserve”. But, the Truth is that we don’t get what we deserve. Jesus came to Earth and turned everything upside down, or right side up…
I deserve nothing except death. I am a selfish, fearful, doubting, inconsiderate girl. I do not deserve God’s love. None of us do. Not even Mother Theresa, Eleanor Roosevelt or Oprah. Oprah could not have enough "Give Aways" to earn God's love.
But, the Truth in the Bible is that God is good to His children. He is loving and kind. He is patient and faithful. The only reason He displays such affection on His wayward daughters, like you and me is because of what Jesus did on the cross. It is not because of our “good and acceptable” actions. We do not deserve grace, we deserve death.
Jesus died for my sinful heart ((I already listed a few of my sins above. Just ask me, I could give you a longer list if you would like)) AND when He died He also gave me His righteousness and perfection.
As a result, when God looks at me, He sees Jesus! God sees a forgiven, justified girl who can therefore receive grace.
Like I said, the concept of grace is simple because the Bible told me so. But, practically I cannot fathom it.
Looking back at my recent past, I deserved to be left by a Holy God. I deserved to be abandoned and given over to my worldly desires. But, God in His grace rescued me. And today, I feel so humbled and undeservingly gracious to have again witnessed God pouring His grace on a fearful, prideful girl.
I do not deserve His kindness. I do not deserve His provision. Yet, He has given it to me because of Jesus.

transforming a heart of stone

I feel like a fraud.

I often paint myself as a girl who has it all together. A person who with all her heart is striving to glorify Jesus. I see the depths of my heart. I hear my inner dialogue. I am with myself all day long and throughout the night and I am the most selfish person. Inconsiderate, unloving hypocrite who is incredibly self-rightous. If you ask the ones that are the closest to me, they would quickly agree.

I write this to remind you that I am a sinner. I am not perfect and I do not have everything figured out. I am in desperate need of a Savior and His grace.

I have found that freedom and livelihood comes when I am most honest with myself and others. When I allow people to know the real me. The unkempt me.

I am being restored. I am a work in progress… a major one. But, Jesus loves me too much to leave me the way I am. 

He is faithful to change his child’s heart from that of a stone to one of flesh.