Give me an “Amen sista” if you agree that women are the most competitive creatures on the planet. We walk into a room and immediately size up our competition. We feel confident and lovable if we are the most attractive woman in the room. We do not buy name-brand items to impress men, but rather to belittle other women. I know this game all too well because I have been playing it since middle school. I am coming to realize that this competition is not truly satisfying. It is exhausting having to compete and make other women feel inferior so I can feel more confident.
What if we became detectives for dignity? It is a difficult challenge to look at another woman through the eyes of the heart. Looking through the eyes of the heart rather than the insecure-blurred vision of the eyes means seeing others as what is most true of them.
We must be relentless in looking for the strengths, gifts, passions and similarities in the women we have a hard time loving. Loving passionately and without abandon is quite difficult. It is no easy task to look at another women as similar to yourself, especially if you are competing with her to make yourself feel more secure.
How challenging is it to see your ex-boyfriends new girlfriend through the eyes of your heart? A family member that differs greatly from you? A co-worker or classmate who is conniving? A homeless woman panhandling? A dancer at a local strip club? The “popular girl” in high school as a feminine soul desiring similar things as yourself? It is a counter-cultural idea to be a detective for dignity and actively seek the beautiful, feminine soul within her.
She too, like myself, and you desires to be loved, known, accepted and cherished. Instead of shaming her, hating her, being jealous, disgusted, or competitive with her begin to see her through the eyes of the heart. She is a sister who is also longing for relationship, kindness, wisdom, insight and purpose.
** ((The concept of being a Detective for Dignity is from the book, Brave Hearts by Sharon A. Hersh. I highly recommend purchasing this book. But, beware: your heart will undergo a major renovation. It is painful, but so worth it))**
Alex, this lesson took a long time for me to learn. I spent a lot of time measuring up to the illusions I thought would bring me peace and tranqulity. I sought love in all the wrong places instead of relying on the gifts God had given me. I so wanted what the other women had until I realized she was just as bad off as I was for loving someone who wasn't worthy of either of us.
ReplyDeleteTimes have changed and I have been on the right path for some time however constant reminders occur that I made the right choice and learned to fully rely on God. Where I once thought God had forsaken me by taking away someone I thought I couldn't live without, I know that God looks out for my best interest in working all situations out for my own good, Not the way I thought He should have.
Peace
amen sista. amen.
ReplyDeleteJust found your blog through FB. love it. :)