strategies

These past few days I have been realizing something about myself. I use a variety of earthly things to grant me value, love and protection. I have been using every strategy to quench my longing for purpose and worth. I know that I will shortly forget that strategies are hopeless and fickle, but at this moment I believe that nothing on this earth has the power to grant me purpose and worth. Only Jesus does. 

Strategy as defined by Webster’s Dictionary is, “a careful plan or method: a clever stratagem. The art of devising or employing plans or stratagems toward a goal”. I no longer want to be a strategizer. I do not want to devise a plan. I no longer want to cleverly and carefully search for earthly things to quiet the longings of my soul. 

A strategy may be a job, a boyfriend, an adventure, independence, beauty, success, or good grades. Strategies are ways in which we run towards objects to find purpose. Even if the strategy temporarily works, it will fail to provide what it so deceptively promised. The strategy promises to grant value and worth when it is attained. When the strategy fails us a deep part of the feminine soul feels valueless, worthless, and purposeless.
Therefore, I have no other option than to fall down where I am at, as a weak strategizer and finally rest. I am resting. No adventure, no job, no amount of independence granted by God gives me the status of being loved, valued and protected. Nothing on this earth has that amount of power. Only Jesus does. He claimed me as worthy when he came to earth, died on the cross, and rose again. I am already valued. Therefore a job, a boyfriend, an adventure, independence, beauty, success and good grades are not bad things. They simply cannot grant me the status of “valued”.